Topic: “How to help your child overcome shyness.
Goal: increasing the parents’ competence in overcoming shyness in their child.
– To reveal the content of the concept of “shyness” and its negative impact on the development of the child’s personality;
– to find out the causes of shyness and to acquaint them with ways to overcome it
– to develop communication skills
– Foster benevolent parent-child relationships
Place: Group room.
Equipment: a memo for parents, a set of pictures with emotions, a cardboard of games, figurines of hares, dogs.
Preliminary work: preparation of the necessary equipment, working out of a memo, preparation of practical exercises for parents
Hello! Thank you for responding to my invitation to talk about Amira.
Amira is a diligent and careful girl. She does everything slowly but very carefully. She is attentive in her lessons and actively works independently. However, I have noticed that Amira has some difficulties with communication situations. She expresses shyness and timidity when both adults and other children address her. For example, during lessons, Amira does not answer a question addressed to her even if she knows the answer or just needs to repeat it, or she answers very quietly. She participates in games only with some 1-2 children. She prefers to watch other children play. He/she refuses to act at matinees and does not explain the reason for refusal, i.e. he/she starts to withdraw into himself/herself.
Have you noticed similar behavior with Amira in other settings? You told me earlier that she behaves shyly when she is a guest at the playground. (mother’s reply)
I want to introduce you to some ways to overcome shyness in a child.
Shyness is a complex feeling of discomfort, confusion, preventing normal communication, most often appears in a situation of familiarity with new people. As a rule, shyness as a characteristic of behavior begins to form in preschool age. Over time, its manifestations become more stable and extend to the entire communicative sphere of the person, if you do not pay attention to it in time.
Amira, like all shy children, usually behaves quietly and calmly. She is always obedient, performing, rarely does anything illegal, does not show initiative. In games and other activities usually takes a secondary role, or does not participate at all, sits quietly and does his or her own thing. Shy children have fear of any public appearances, even if it is only to answer questions from a familiar teacher in the classroom. They rarely perform at holidays, often get lost, forget their words and try to be unnoticed in a group of peers. As a rule, they show shyness in a new situation. In contact with adults, they try to avoid eye contact with the person they are talking to. Shy children are constantly focused on an assessment of their actions.
The main difficulties in a shy child’s communication with other people lie in the sphere of his or her attitude toward him or herself and the attitude of other people toward him or her. Such a child, as a rule, has low self-esteem. He or she often doubts the positive attitude of other people, especially strangers. He or she focuses not so much on what he or she does, but rather on how adults will assess him or her. This interferes with realization of his or her sometimes very good abilities and adequate socialization with others. The child subsequently loses his or her cognitive interest and becomes withdrawn. But in situations when the child “forgets about himself or herself,” he or she becomes as open and sociable as his or her unshy peers.
Helping the child overcome shyness, to form his desire to communicate – a very doable task, provided the joint efforts of teachers and parents.
First of all it is necessary to find out the cause of shyness. I noticed that with you the girl is open, communicates confidently and freely. In the presence of her daddy, Amira is withdrawn, immediately lowers her head, and becomes slower than usual. He usually speaks to her strictly, constantly hurries up and makes remarks. Please tell me, is this a normal form of communication between father and daughter, and how do you feel about it? Do you discuss this issue with him? (Mom’s answers)
There are many ways to deal with shyness. I have selected only a few.
Do not call a child “shy”. Do not call him a shyster. Do not say to neighbors and guests in the presence of a child: “He has a fear of strangers. By doing this, you are kind of laying down a program for his or her future behavior. Do not allow other people to make fun of your child and shame him/her for being timid.
Reinforce your child’s faith in himself or herself (“You will do well”, “You are well prepared”). Do not scold your child for failure. Do not compare your child with others. The main task is to form in it self-confidence and self-esteem.
Widen your child’s social circle, invite Amira’s friends more often, take her to visit acquaintances, expand the route of walks, teach your child to treat new, unfamiliar places calmly. Show Amira how you can initiate communication. For example, you came to the playground and did not see any familiar children. Amira herself is shy about making friends with other kids. Advise her to help other children in their game, for example, to offer them his toy. A few compliments you give to the children may also help to loosen up.
Involve the child in a variety of communicative tasks. Encourage contact with “strange adults” – for example, so that Diana could ask the seller to show her a favorite toy or buy ice cream by herself.
Role-playing games will also be very useful in this case. Such as, “Family”, “Hospital”, “Shop”, “Bus”, etc., in which the situation is played communication. And now I suggest you play one communication situation to choose from. (The game is played according to the parent’s choice). You have done well; I hope you will find time at home to do this kind of work with Amira.
Support your child, emphasize his or her successes, and tell your child how much you can learn by talking and playing with other children and adults.
Do you have questions for me?
I offer you a memo to help you find tips for yourself on how to behave with a child, as well as overcoming shyness and timidity.
Be patient, and soon your child will communicate freely! Thank you! All the best!