OBJECTIVE: Formation of adequate meaning, i.e., motivation of sexual awareness.
– To actualize the essence of sex education of schoolchildren.
– To study theoretical and practical material on sex education of the younger generation.
– To develop a questionnaire for adolescents on sex education.
Program of the talk:
– Age characteristics of adolescents
– What children need to know about puberty
– How to deal with childhood crushes
– Talking about sex with children
– Rules for discussing sex with children and teens
– How to talk about sex with children – Rules for talking about sex with children – Practical guidelines
1. Theoretical material.
Age characteristics of adolescents.
Puberty is an important, responsible and difficult stage of life. It is characterized by a complete lack of harmony. Boys and girls have not yet entered the adult world, but have already left the world of childhood. Hence the ambivalence of their position and actions and many misfortunes. Loss of balance is caused by the restructuring of the hormonal system in the body, the difference in the pace of physical and spiritual development of adolescents and the degree of their social maturity, independence. All of this is reflected in the mental state. The disharmony of spiritual and physical forces sometimes puts adolescents in a difficult situation. Lack of experience, lack of self-confidence do not allow honorably get out of difficult situations. The teenager often does stupid things, does things that can not be explained in terms of logic. Psychologists consider this stage of development to be the most difficult for children emotionally. This should be considered by parents and teachers.
Biological changes in the body due to the increased production of sex hormones lead to changes in gender relations, and this already has a social and moral coloring. Adults are obliged to know and remember this. They should not be limited to hygienic recommendations. The most appropriate sex education is not through enlightening conversations with children, and involve the child in everyday family matters, such as helping his father to repair the apartment, and his daughter, along with his mother cook dinner. If the family jointly plans and conducts leisure activities, if the children see harmony and friendship between the parents – this is the best form of addressing in practice the issues of sex education of the child. Although it is worth stating that a strict delineation of the “male” and “female” Affairs should not be carried out, because now in the family the boundaries between these responsibilities to some extent erased.
The girl becomes aware of herself as a woman before the boy – a man. Those with a sense of adulthood comes about 2-3 years later. In the power of teachers and parents to remove at least part of the tension and conflict between mismatched boys. You should support them in all demonstrations of maturity, independence and responsibility whenever possible. If you trust teenagers, communicate with them as equals, without humiliating their dignity, they will try to justify such an attitude.
What children need to know about puberty
At the age of 13-15 years, adolescents go through puberty. By this point, they should have a fairly accurate understanding of the anatomy of the genitals, reproduction, pregnancy, childbirth. Such conversations with the son is better to lead the father, and with the girl – the mother. Adults should briefly talk about the changes that occur in adolescents of the opposite sex, to emphasize their naturalness and importance. Each child grows and develops on an individual “plan”. And this must be stressed in the conversation. It is important that no one worried about his lagging behind his peers, or, conversely, because some signs and signs of maturation appeared earlier than the rest. Physicians have special tables for determining the boundaries of the norm. They include data on the development of secondary sexual characteristics, the timing of menstruation, first intercourse, etc. So, the main criterion by which to judge the onset of puberty in girls is menstruation. If the first signs of puberty appeared before the age of 9, or did not appear by the age of 14, parents should consult an endocrinologist to rule out endocrine disorders or diseases. In boys, the first orgasm occurs at the age of 13 to 16 years, and the first signs of puberty appear between 10-15 years. If it happened before the age of 10 or did not happen at 15, it is also necessary to study the endocrine system. Many factors influence the rate and level of sexual development. In general, in the last few decades, the development and maturation of children is much faster than in the first half of the 20th century. We are all familiar with the term “acceleration,” which means “acceleration.” Acceleration is primarily reflected in physical development: the growth and body weight of adolescents has increased, and puberty begins to occur earlier. The reasons for this phenomenon are not fully understood. Scientists are inclined to believe that an important role is played by improvement of children’s nutrition, an increase in the number of various stimuli in the environment, including ionizing radiation, etc. However, acceleration has created many problems for children and adults alike, such as those related to earlier puberty and the possibility of motherhood and fatherhood at too early an age.
The processes of physical and sexual development may also be impeded by a variety of factors: endocrine and central nervous system disorders, chronic infections, viral illnesses suffered as a child, poor nutrition, and high levels of emotional, physical and mental stress.
How to treat childhood crushes
So how should we treat childhood crushes?
From 7 to 12 years old.
This period can be called the beginning of childhood romanticism. Stereotypes of male and female behavior have already been assimilated quite firmly, and movies and books play no small part in this. Children identify themselves with their heroes and try to behave in the same way. For example, after watching a lot of Latin American soap operas, they play Laura and Juan-Carlos. Girls dream of a beautiful wedding and children, and boys – about how they will perform a heroic deed and save his beloved.
A child may spend all day thinking about the object of his adoration, going to school just to see him, and rehearsing in front of the mirror the words he will say when he meets him. Often children fall in love with older people: their teachers, their friends’ siblings, or even their parents. Girls and boys in groups discuss who is in love with whom, writing love notes and filling out homemade “questionnaires” to learn more about each other. The time for the first courtship begins.
The attachment that begins at this age can turn out to be a real serious feeling and last throughout a child’s life. Children react very painfully to separation from the object of love, such as when they move to another school or as a result of leaving a summer camp. They are not yet independent enough to continue to see each other often, and correspondence or exchanging phone calls cannot replace face-to-face communication. By the end of this period, a strategy of behavior with people of the opposite sex is formed in general terms, which will only be adjusted later on depending on the experience gained.
Children independently analyze their feelings and feelings of others, pay attention to the slightest features of behavior of the object of sympathy: he asked for an eraser from me, and not from the neighbor at the desk – it means he loves! At this stage, parents can work with the child to analyze in detail the mistakes they made, look for ways to reconcile after a quarrel with the beloved, or figure out how to attract his or her attention. This will teach the child to understand themselves and people well in the future.
From 12 and up
From now on, love is firmly associated with kisses and hugs. Those who have a friend or girlfriend, peers respect, and those who have already managed to change a few, envy. Sexy jokes and stirring stories about the loss of innocence are very popular.
Nevertheless, the romanticism of relationships does not lose its value. Great importance is given to dancing with the beloved, looks, smiles and gentle words. This age is characterized by a kind of fetishism – the exchange of photos, scarves, hats.
Teenagers of this age live with a sense of approaching “big love,” which is about to come. Therefore, as if wishing to hasten its appearance, strongly idealize loved ones. Often parents are afraid of the sexuality of their children. So there is a danger of tarnishing their feelings, to scare them, warning them against early involvement. Somehow, parents are not afraid to raise a child of a sexually cold, inhibited person, thereby creating a lot of serious problems.
You do not need to tell a teenager that it is too early to think about sex. Engaging – really early, but to think – just right. Puberty has come, hormones are raging, and from this point on you can not get a teenager to get rid of his thoughts and desires. The reproaches and pressure will simply cause him to stop being outspoken. The task of adults is to set the child up to think about sex in the future tense, not in the present.
In the meantime, let him form his own attitude toward the topic and the understanding that sex is inextricably linked to responsibility for himself and for his loved one.
If parents have realized that their child is in love and that love is hopeless, unhappy, exhausting, they should not pretend that all this does not matter. Of course, you shouldn’t try to live your life for your child. But susceptibility is different, and you have to be very sensitive to nervousness, sadness, depression, not to transform into pathological forms – neuroses, suicidal phenomena. For a child will have to fight, including with the help of specialists – psychologists, psychotherapists.
Discussing gender issues with children
The biggest role in educating boys in the right attitude towards women is a personal example. Worthless beautiful words, if, after finishing advice to his son, his husband rudely attacked his wife. In the sex education of boys and young men we must not forget the need to maintain male authority. It is unacceptable that the wife, even if deservedly, criticized the actions of the father in front of the children, humiliated him. The example of the father in the family always affects the formation of the image of a man-husband and father in children of both sexes. The son assimilates his line of behavior, including with the opposite sex; the daughter assimilates a possible ideal of a future spouse (or vows to marry). It is necessary to instill in girls and young women, as they grow up, a sense of self-esteem, maiden’s honor, bashfulness, but in a proper measure. Sometimes an excessive sense of self-esteem turns a girl into a cold haughty prideful girl, and an awareness of female exceptionalism – into a squirrel and selfish girl.
There are two major mistakes made in girls’ sex education. Some moms completely ignore the issues of sexuality. In this case, girls will learn information (possibly incorrect) from other sources. Other moms cover sex only in a negative way. But the forbidden fruit is always sweet, and daughters may have doubts about the validity of their mothers’ words and want to check who is right.
Important task of sex education is to develop rules of conduct with members of the opposite sex. In relationships with all males, a girl must remain (or become) feminine, beautiful, weak. She must know that the highest purpose in life – the continuation of the race, and not the momentary joy and pleasure. It is also important to teach chastity of thought, relationships, and meetings, so that men will not have the idea that it will be easy for him to achieve intimacy with a given girl. Often the wrong behavior of girls leads to serious mental trauma, rape and other troubles. Teaching a girl to be neat, to do morning exercises, to take care of her hair, etc. also relates to sex education. Due to changes in the psycho-physiological state of a girl of 13-15 years should receive information about sexuality. It is not easy to start such a conversation. But it is necessary. It is better if there is some appropriate occasion for this, but you should not wait too long for it – you could be too late. The more natural your behavior, the less focused on the problem will be daughter’s attention. At the same time, do not give the conversation and the tone of neglect, insignificance – she had to realize the importance of sexuality.
2. The practical part
The practical part of the work consists of a questionnaire administered to students in grades 8-9.
Questionnaire for 8th-9th graders (anonymous)
Purpose: To obtain information regarding students’ knowledge of sexuality.
Instructions: Please, answer the proposed questions, choosing one of the answer options, or offer your own.
1. What do you understand by the phrase “sexual relationships”?
– other ______________________________________________________
2. I have learned about sexual relationships …
– from television shows
– from reading special literature
– conversations with peers
– from my parents
– from teachers
– cite other sources ____________________________________________
3. Why do young people today begin early sexual activity?
– Out of curiosity (an interest in learning something new)
– to be like other people
– to seem more mature
– under the influence of alcohol, drugs, toxic substances
4. Do you think early sexual activity can be harmful and why?
5. At what age do you think you should start having sex?
– 12 – 13 years old
– 14 – 15 years old
– 16 – 17 years old
– 18 years old
– your opinion _______________________________________________________
6. What types of contraceptives do you know?
7. Do you think a special course on this topic is needed in school?
– Yes, it is
– probably yes, it is
– I cannot answer
– probably not necessary
8. Have you had sexual intercourse?